shinji_hiroshi (shinji_hiroshi) wrote,

Part 2 of 5? The SGC Halloween Caper

Title: SGC Halloween Caper(Will change title…)
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: Part 2 of 5?
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Pairs: Jack/Daniel and talks of Paul Davis/Teal'c, Janet/Sam
Words: 5013
Genre: Comedy, Mild Action, Light Fluff, and (1st time!)
Summary: Halloween is lurking close by Jack O’Neill intends to have a party on the base. Ba’al has some plans as well to drop in and take over the world. Daniel’s trusty books are out to finally get him. Some people have a Matrix fetish…(kinda a spurr of the moment fic and my 1st attempt at writing an SG-1 fic.) Also I would like to thank my friend furor_scribiend for doing the beta work on here! ^_^


Also sorry for the delay guys on getting this chapter out I lost my writing juice for awhile. Please leave feedback for me helps me work better @.@

It took two days, but the president had given Hammond the go on the plan. All of the SGC personal now knew of the party and what the basic plan of operation was and that was to be on full alert for when Ba’al came through that gate with his army of Jaffa. So far, Sam was actually half done with her outfit grab as Teal’c had taken her around to a few stores in town and assisted her in finding appropriate garments that would be suitable for a first prime female Jaffa.

Janet Fraiser refused to tell a single soul what her getup was and she had threatened Jack with one of her extra big needles and a thorough physical if he didn’t get off the gun and quit asking her what she was wearing. She even refused to tell Sam, her lover. Only Cassie her daughter knew what the outfit was as she was the one who helped pick it out for her saying it was perfect for her mother and something about showing off her inner warrior side of her.

Teal’c had shocked them all when he replied he was going to be Morpheus from the Matrix! They had all taken bets he would for sure do someone from Star Trek or even Star Wars, but were thwarted on that one. The big Jaffa had shown off his outfit he’d ordered all by himself from the same store Jack and Daniel had ordered their outfits from.

The girl whom made the costumes was only 23 and she was brilliant when it came to her work. She took great care to make sure all of them were perfect and ready for whatever the user intended to need them for and quite professional about it when she had to have some people like Daniel practically strip down to nothing more then their boxers. Jack had to pretty much strip down to his birthday suit and have ‘everything’ made perfect so there wasn’t the tiniest flaw to it when the inner and outer garments would need to be added. Though it had been very well worth it and Jack had tipped the young woman a very generous tip for her hard work on such short notice.

Everyone in SG-2 was dressing up as the Ghostbusters and someone had claimed they might have the puffy marshmallow guy. Though it was a shame they were going to be lacking Slimmer but still, seeing and hearing what everyone talk excitedly about what they were going to do what quite interesting, and humorous at the same time. They all knew it was a mission and not just fun and games…well it would be fun and games till Ba’al showed up and then someone was bound to brake a nail and wind up on their ass hurt.

Extra security measures were taken as soon as Hammond had given the go on the plan to allow the party and also warn everyone that night on the base to carry weapons on them and conceal them very well. Whether it be a knife, a berretta, P-90, standard issue firearm, zat, staff weapon; he didn’t care how they hid it just as long as the minute the Ba’al’s Jaffa marched through that gate and the devil himself, they were to fire immediately.

Or, in Carter’s case, if they went blind Jack had asked her to bite people with her sharp choppers and claw their eyeballs out and also to serve them to the person she clawed them out of the sockets from. That had them all relieving their first true mission of saving the world, and a funny moment as well. Jack had a bruise on him for two weeks where Carter had bit him! The woman had to have been a vampire in another life, or something that enjoyed biting people and inflicting pain, but he like any other man on the base avoided her like the plague on that week she was pmsing. Not even Janet could stand to be around her, it was like watching two bitches deck it out in a heated match.

“Carter, have you seen the desert rat lurking anywhere?” Jack questioned the blonde as he had lost site of his husband upon arrival to the base that morning.

“He went off world with SG-14 to help them with some translations Sir. I want you to look at these designs I made. I managed to get you and Daniel 15 people looking forward to playing your loyal Jaffa; best part about it is they want to get into their parts so Teal’c is teaching them the basics. I think if we make it look semi realistic, Ba’al might actually think you have a goa’uld inside of you and you already managed to gather up some Jaffa.” Sam replied as she stepped aside to allow Jack to view the made up designs on the computer screen they would all be wearing on their foreheads, hers she still had to fix up, but these were just the basics of what she’s spent her past two days working on.

Peering over the five designs Carter had made up for the others to wear, he pointed to the one he liked the most Daniel was going to need to wear on his hip. “If you can blow this one up to a decent size so it can be well seen, I plan to stick that on Daniel’s hip so he has a better proper mark on him, instead of wearing those gay armband things like he had to wear for Yu.”

Sam was going to make a comment on the gay bit, but let it slide and sat down in her chair and began to proceed enlarging the picture Jack had chosen for Daniel to wear on his hip. “Did you want me to add anything inside of it Sir?” Sam questioned glancing up at her commanding officer.

“Just, POJO.”

“Property of Jack O’Neill?” Sam asked innocently to confirm Jack’s acronym.


“I really pity Daniel for marrying you.” Sam shook her head, but met it as a joke, which Jack understood completely.

He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as Carter brought up their old bickering match again, “Well I could say Janet’s too good for you, but hey if you like that bondage needle fetish stuff then, by all means, stay with the doc.” He waved for her to proceed with her work on the computer and contemplated on the symbols he liked the most his Jaffa could use. His Jaffa, that had a nice ring to it; even if it was slightly scary.

Sam ignored the comment from Jack and typed in the necessary information on the blown up picture that would be an appropriate size to stick on a man, “Done sir, and did you pick out which symbol you want to use for everyone else?”

“One on the left will do, I don’t think I want my Goa’uld troops to be miming Harry Potter. We should call Ba’al up and tell him to dress up as that Lord Voldemort guy. He’s a snake, talks snake; only lacks the outside scaly beauty.” He did not just say that aloud did he? Judging by the way Carter was laughing he had.

“How do I look O’Neill?” Teal’c rumbled from behind the two in the doorway.
Turning around both Jack and Sam could only gape like stunned fish at Teal’c in his Matrix outfit. He had the coat, pants, shirt, shoes, glasses, and the bald head going for him and he looked very good in leather.

“Wow.” That was all Carter could say as her blue eyes greedily drank in the site of the former Jaffa before her; if she wasn’t going steady with Janet, she’d have jumped Teal’c right then and there and introduced him to the broom closet on sub level 17.

An eyebrow arched as the former prime of Apophis watched Sam trying her best to not drool buckets by the gallon before him, “Is something wrong Major Carter?” Teal’c questioned.

Looking back and forth between them both Jack stepped forward and moved around Teal’c twice to take in everything, “Just ignore Carter; she’s trying to restrain herself from jumping you. And as for the outfit T, you’ll knock all the women dead!” He grinned, patting the other man on the shoulder, and looked back in time to catch Carter turning around to hide the bright red flush on her face.
Teal’c raised his brow even higher to the point it appeared it might fall off Teal’c’s head. “I was more or less hoping I could attract Major Paul Davis attention.” Teal’c smirked as he saw the goldfish look overtake Sam and Jack’s face.

“Davis?!” Came the chimed response.

“This is correct.”

Sam and Jack exchanged looks, “Since when?”

“Two years.” He made it sound so casual.

“We’re out of the loop too much about you.” Jack made a mental note to file for later to annoy Davis at the party for dirty tidbits on former ways of Jaffa courting.


Sam turned around to begin printing off the tattoos everyone would be wearing and choose to butt out for the moment so Jack and Teal’c could keep on their silent discussion. But she was now curious what Davis was wearing to this little party. “Any clue what Paul is wearing?” Sam questioned and began slipping some special paper into her printer.

“He said it was a surprise and that he had to special order one of the items, so I have no clue as to what he will be dressing up as.” Teal’c informed her and still wanted to see the two outfits Jack and Daniel were going to be wearing on Devil’s Night, but they refused to show them off as well.

“Well, Daniel and I will be knocking you guys all on your butts! Ours are top of the line and Daniel’s going to make all you women cream your pants.” Jack felt like bragging now; there was no way in hell anyone could top the outfit pairing he and Daniel had planned.

“I am no woman, nor will I,” Teal’c seemed to consider the rest carefully wondering why his friends of the Tau’ri had such abnormal sayings. “Cream my pants. I am however curious to see these outfits of yours and DanielJackson’s. Is it not possible to give us a sneak peek?”

Now Carter was looking up at the two men, her computer project forgotten. “Why not Sir? A little peek won’t hurt anything.”

Jack really needed to get Teal’c to start calling his husband Daniel O’Neill. “T, you do remember Daniel and I got married and his last name is O’Neill now right?” He asked gently, not wanting to be used for target practice.

“I do O’Neill, but I find that by calling him his former ‘maiden’ name he will be in less danger from those that want you dead and not use him as much to get what they want out of you.”

He was good, very good. However, it really annoyed Jack when Daniel still went by Jackson for some things. They were going to need to sit down one of these days and have a very long chat about it before they adopted kids or the Asgard found ways for the male species to carry children. He just wondered who Thor would give the mojo to have it. ‘I’m just going to go and hide when and if that ever does happen.’ He thought to himself.

“Teal’c does have a point, Sir; if no one knows he’s your spouse, then he’s safer.” Carter mumbled as she was wetted something down while playing with it.

“Okay I get the point!” He flailed his arms about in annoyance, wishing everyone would quit rubbing it in his nose. He’d have changed from O’Neill to Jackson, but Jack Jackson was a mouthful to say and Daniel had agreed to that so his husband had gone O’Neill for him.

“MajorCarter, I believe your symbol of devotion to your false god is upside down.” Teal’c smirked at the woman’s handy work.

Jack turned around to see what Carter did and nearly fell over on his ass laughing at what happened to Carter’s gold tattoo job. “Now THAT’S a good one, Carter. You kids have fun; the general wanted to see me for brunch. Don’t need him to summon me with the cattle recharge call.” Jack grinned and exited Carter’s office to see what it was Hammond needed.

“Perhaps we should ask DanielO’Neill about the outfits?” Teal’c suggested to Sam once he was sure Jack was out of hearing range.

“I think he’ll be back in a few hours. We can corner him about them when Jack isn’t around.” Sam confirmed fixing her precious work.

“Very well; I will leave you to your work Major Carter.” Bowing his head, the former Jaffa exited out of the room to go show off his outfit to Janet and her nurses to see if he really could get the women to cream their pants. After hanging around Jack O’Neill for nearly nine years, one tends to pick up on a few of the man’s bad habits. And just not his fishing skills; nobody in the entire universe could ever top Jack O’Neill’s love for the fishing sport, and probably never would in this lifetime or any other. Speaking of which Teal’c needed to find an excuse to get out of another one of Jack’s upcoming fishing trips.

Hammond was in his office and bent over some documents that had just arrived from the White House that needed his full, undivided attention. Well some of it was important, but not anything that would help them all get the raise that would help out nicely with pensions; that was if the Asgard would permit him to retire. He had a feeling that by the time he picked the day to hand the reins of this facility over to Jack, they’d have invented something to age humans back a few years and maybe even some super healing ability like the Jaffa and Goa’uld.

A knock sounded on the inside part of the open door causing Hammond to look up from the not so interesting documents before him to find Jack there, “Come in son. Shut the door please.” Hammond gestured for Jack to come inside and sit down.

“Thank you Sir,” Shutting the door behind him, Jack moved over to the second chair nearest to the wall and sank down in it glad to be off his knees. “You needed to speak to me?” He questioned.

“Yes Jack, I did. I want to just make sure we‘re clear here on this party and operation of ours to outsmart Ba‘al and capture him. I wanted your honest opinion Jack; if we should order more security inside and outside of the base in case the plan in the gate room fails, now’s the time to say it.”

Jack studied Hammond’s face and could understand the man’s desire to be extra concerned over this little shindig they were planning here, it was a fifty-fifty one shot deal. The pendulum could swing in their favor or the axe could swing in favor of Ba’al. All in all, the mission was still going to be risky. And even he was having some doubts about it. Though the thought of playing a System Lord was a real funny gag, it was going to be hard trying to pretend he had a snake in his head, even will all the extra gizmos Carter was using from the training room that they used to hold their mock SGC runs of encounters of other alien races off world.

“Well Sir, we could call my little buddy Thor and ask him to hang out above the planet if Ba’al attempts to try and take over the SGC and the entire planet. Of course, that’s if we fail with our attempt to capture him or in the usual case scenario he captures SG-1 and takes us back off to his castle of doom and invite us over for a friendly game of torture the tau’ri.” He paused in the middle of his story and shuddered at the thought of being left in Ba’al’s hands again or his husband for that matter to get tortured to death. Thus quickly followed up by getting addicted to a damn box to restore your life over and over again until you flipped out or begged for someone to just kill you outright before your soul was destroyed.

“Maybe it would be a good idea to contact the Asgard and have them standing by if Ba’al attempts to bring more then a small guard unit with him.” Hammond wanted this to go as smoothly as they could. He couldn’t afford any slipups or any of his people being harmed.

“Should I tell them to paint themselves green, Sir?”

Hammond smiled and chuckled over that, the thought of seeing their allies in green body paint was quite amusing, “Green paint Colonel and antennas. Then we can consider them the old aliens we used to see in our films growing up in the good old days.”

He grinned at this, though Jack had a feeling if he asked Thor might actually do it, but then again the Asgard would probably deem them even younger or dumber for such a wacky idea and maybe even insult them. “I‘ll suggest it Sir.”

“You do that Colonel, and another thing…” Hammond paused looking around his office to see if their was anything out of the ordinary in his office he should know about then his eyes slowly moved back to Jack, “Would you mind giving me the address of the place you got your costumes for yourself and Dr. O‘Neill?” He asked, not wanting anyone else to know that he was planning to join in the fun as well. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, or in this case, when at the SGC, join in with everyone else because you never know if it’ll be the last party with everyone there.

“Sure thing Sir, mind if I ask what you’re planning on dressing up as?” Jack asked rather curiously, as he took the offered pen and paper and began writing the information down to the store he had his costumes professionally made.

“I was thinking of being a pirate captain; you remember that talking bird my granddaughters talked me into getting?”

Jack laughed remembering how a month ago he and Daniel had been over at George’s for a bbq and the girls had insisted on showing them the bird and the thing kept mimicking Daniel word for word and kept trying to steal bits of his husband’s dinner. That had stopped when Daniel threaten to pluck the bird and roast him for dinner and it retreated onto Hammond again and began to mimic the older man slightly, but it turned out to be quite cute seeing the bird address Jack in military fashion. “Of course Sir, I got a kick out of Daniel looking paranoid like the bird was going to bite his ear off.”

“I think my girls got a picture of that.” Hammond mused knowing he needed to get Jack a copy of it still.

“You know me Sir, I‘ll keep it in a place to remind him not only snakes.” He grinned evilly and handed over the information to Hammond.

“Thank you Jack, by the way just what do your outfits look like?” Hammond questioned wondering if he could get it out of his 2IC and win the betting pool that was going around on just exactly the style Jack and Daniel were going with for their outfits.

“If I told you Sir I‘d have to shoot you, nobody is seeing the outfits until Devil‘s Night and I‘ve already stashed them away, locked up safely in a spot in my house where nobody will ever see them. So you’re outta luck George to win the betting pool.”

George smiled at that and shook his head with a faint laugh, “Can‘t blame me for trying now can you Jack?”

The two men shared a laugh over the whole thing both of them knowing well there was a betting pool going around on Jack and Daniel’s outfits. Some said Jack was going to dress up like one of the usual tacky System Lords or some said he was going to go all out and dress in something with style and class to match his crown of silver pepper hair. Janet’s nursing staff was saying the two of them were going to go for a Matrix look with a little touch of Egyptian or Greece style to it.

As if on cue, the alarms in the SGC went off and Hammond along with Jack hurried downstairs into the control room to see who was coming in to visit them. Everyone in the gate room was standing by armed to their teeth with the usual defensive guns turrets and SFs as they awaited their orders on what to do or see what they could possibly get a chance to shoot that came in through the stargate.

“Who is it?” Jack asked creeping up behind Walter, more or less peering over the others shoulder to see who’s IDC was coming through.

“It‘s SG-14 Sir.” Walter stated, and stood by awaiting orders to open the Iris.
Hammond nodded, “Open the iris.”

Placing his hand on the touchpad, the sound of metal turning to move out of the way could be heard and seen as well as staff blasts coming through the open wormhole. There was truly never a boring day at this facility. The men in the gate room were standing off to the side watching as their men slowly returned one by one. Daniel and two others were the last ones to enter carrying a wounded doctor of SG-14.

“Medical team to the Gate room right away!” Jack ordered, as he ran out of the room not hear Hammond giving the remaining orders to close up the gate so no further damage could happen inside the gate room.

Daniel helped to lay the wounded woman down on the ramp, busy pressing a cloth into her side. “What happened Daniel?” Jack asked coming to kneel beside the others.

“Ba’al’s Jaffa were on the planet. We thought we could make it back to the gate without them noticing us, but they must have had someone nearby hiding spotted us and reported to the head Jaffa that we were there is my guess.” Daniel told his husband and looked to see Jack was eyeing him over to make sure every little detail was the way it was before they’d come into work this morning. “I’m fine Jack, just fell down and maybe bruised myself a bit, but that will be gone soon.” He smiled some reassuringly, and looked up to watch Janet come rushing in with her minions.

“Staff blast to the side, she’s lost some blood let’s hurry up and get her setup. I’ll need some type negative B blood!” Janet ordered as they piled up the wounded doctor onto a stretcher and rushed off with her to the infirmary.

Standing up, Jack’s knees popped loudly and he grimaced slightly. It was only a matter of time until he’d have to say enough was enough and he couldn’t go through the stargate anymore with his teammates. “Besides the Jaffa trying to kill you, see anything else?” He asked leaving the room with Daniel so he could get looked over.

“Nothing you would have liked Jack; we found no big honkin’ guns just rocks.” Daniel smiled, knowing this was how it usually went when he choose to sneak off with another team in the SGC to help them out with something.

“No gifts?”

“I had one, but you see I liked it so much I had to use it to smack a Jaffa over the head and crack his skull open to get away before I was killed.” Daniel inputted.

He grinned slightly at this, “My present was a rock wasn’t it?”

“Yes, but it had a nice color to it. I could have added it to the little rock collection in the garden we added in from this past spring.” He confirmed.

He draped his arm around Daniel’s shoulders guiding him into the infirmary, “Well then, I’m sure that Jaffa is pushing up daisies with his new found love you gave him.” Jack teased his lover and kissed his forehead lightly.

Daniel returned the kiss and moved over to an empty bed and sat down so he could get this whole look over done with and go back to working on his translation. However, he couldn’t help but over hear what some of the nurses were going on about. “Jack, is someone having a betting pool on what our outfits look like?” He asked raising his brow at his husband.

“Yeah, Carter and just about everyone else are trying to find a way to get it out of me, so don’t be shocked it they all flock to you now, my desert rat, to get the juicy tidbits out.” Jack picked a blade of grass out of Daniel’s hair.

“Why do you keep calling me desert rat?” Daniel demanded slightly put out on his sudden new nickname. Jack had given it to him since their mission in July to go to Egypt and check out some site to confirm there was, in fact nothing, left behind by the Goa’uld that could harm anyone or in their case be of use to them to bring back home and study.

“Well, that one mission you romped around in the sand so much and lurked around like a rat I couldn’t help it, and the way you danced around in that outfit in the blazing sun was a turn on for me.” It was because of that outfit that had spurred Jack to get it re-made only sexier looking to his liking for Daniel. The one the snake had managed to convince Daniel to wear hadn’t been made for a man to wear nor did it match those beautiful blue eyes that belonged to Daniel, but this new modified and very expensive one did.

“I see it explains why you choose to have that remade then, but I still don’t get the point of the one other accessory you had added onto it.” He eyed Jack suspiciously, as he began to make a hasty exit. “Hey I’m not done with you Mr. O’Neill.” He narrowed his eyes slightly, the look usual reserved for snakes or in Jack’s case when he was trying to run off and hide from a question.

“That is a story for another time Mrs. O’Neill.” Jack gave a cheeky grin and left the room as fast as he could before Daniel sent a boot flying in his direction.

Daniel could feel his cheeks flaming red at Jack referring to him as Mrs. O’Neill, but he was the one who agreed to do the last name change and was really the more submissive one of the relationship. Though from time to time he did like to steal the reins of control from his husband, so Jack’s ego of being the big bad alpha male didn’t cause his brain to swell too much to the size of a Goa’uld’s or pop out of his head.

“Are you feeling well Daniel?” Sam asked noting Daniel’s face was rather flushed.

“Oh I’m fine, just being embarrassed by a childish husband who acts like he’s six instead of his true age.” Daniel sighed removing his dirty jacket and laid it over the side of the bed so it was out of the way when the nurse came by to begin ordering him to lower his pants down to poke him in the ass with a big needle. It always seemed like he and Jack got the big needles but nobody else ever did it was a mystery that was beginning to miff him.

The blonde haired woman laughed wondering what Jack did this time to push Daniel’s buttons to get him all flushed, “Daniel so tell me what your outfit looks like and Jack’s?” She asked, not bothering to dance around the bush on this one and leapt straight to the gun.

“Well I shouldn’t really tell, but we’re just going all Matrix style; Jack’s doing that whole, ‘I’m Neo, look glasses and all’ and I’m wearing a very tight show-it-all-off leather outfit.” Daniel of course was lying straight through his teeth, but it seemed those that had stopped to eavesdrop heard it and were grinning from ear to ear thinking they’d won this bet now for sure, and it explained Teal’c in his snazzy outfit now. They all thought SG-1 was going to dress up as the people from the Matrix movie, but that was now just a useful cover story until Devil’s Night.

“I think the Colonel’s going to be looking at you more than Ba’al then in the outfit you’re going to wear Daniel.” Janet said creeping up behind her lover Sam and pinched the woman on the ass to make her move.

“Janet!” Sam leapt a little rubbing her sore bum now from Janet’s finger pinching.

“You were right there Sam, I couldn’t resist not touching what’s mine.” Janet smiled innocently though it was a smile that would have made the devil himself proud.

“Now we know who the alpha is in your relationship.” Daniel teased Sam.

“Leave her alone Daniel and let’s began looking you over so I can release you back into the wild so your mate doesn’t try fighting with me.” Janet teased, and without a final word, she grabbed the curtains pulling them tight around the bed Daniel was on and her big trusty needle standing by to use on the poor doctor.

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